The day before the Year 12 camp, I was waiting anxiously to see how it would turn out. It's been my third camp at Collaroy, so I suppose I'll use that as a through line for this post. The Year 8 camp at Collaroy was one of the best I'd ever had. It was loads of fun, and it also helped start off some of my most pivotal friendships.
The next time I went was for the Year 10 Leadership Camp, which wasn't so good. Through most of my stay I was saddled with the task of rescuing one of those friendships I had made in Year 8 camp. Kind of poetic, I suppose, so even if I didn't even as good a time as I would have liked, it had a sense of gravity that was, how can I put it, satisfying I guess.
And then we have Year 12 camp. This one didn't exactly have the best of starts. Very early I found that Praween couldn't come, which was devastating. I knew how much he would have wanted to be there, and I suppose that was bothering me the entire day.
Rock climbing and abseiling brightened things up a little. And so did a dancing Kapilan. Oh, and the first speaker who pretty much told us to do "whatever you like!" ^^
But I'm going to be honest here, I really didn't enjoy the second speaker. Her speech dragged and was kind of boring. There was an activity where we had to write down stuff that got us through various challenges in life. Most of the answers were something along the lines of support from friends. Which isn't something I can honestly say very often. I tried to distract myself with my phone, but with Mr. Jones having an eagle eye view over the entire hall, that gave out pretty quickly. Somewhere in the middle, she started listing endless personality traits, and I don't know why, but it was very depressing.
The night was capped off with valentines song dedications, which just made things worse. I honestly don't know exactly what I was hoping for, but seeing so many people dancing felt pretty damning. Something, anything. Everyone else was having a good time, but I couldn't help but think, what the hell am I doing here?
I had a similar feeling at semi-formal, but this time it was just too much. If you think guys don't cry, you are sorely mistaken. To anyone and everyone who saw me, I'm sorry I couldn't quite put all this in to words in person. Just didn't want to cause any trouble. But hey, next time you see me, a hug wouldn't hurt, would it?
Slowly but surely, these problems have been creeping up over the past few years. Lying half asleep in my cabin whilst everyone else talked about their problems, it felt like the clouds were just beginning to open up. It's sad that those problems only really get noticed when it starts pouring.
0 comments:
Post a Comment